19 June 2012

A Poetic Customer Service Complaint

Dear Sir,

After your most recent FAILure to wow me with your service, I decided to write a poem about it. If you'd like a more permanent copy, you'll find it in the ladies' restroom, in the second stall. Don't bother trying to wash it off or paint over it. I made sure after penning it with my Sharpie to carve it into the wall with my nail file, for a more lasting impression. I hope as well that it will remain etched in your head so long as your draw breath.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll never eat at Joe's again
I hope you won't, too

That waiter named Chuck
As handsome as he may be
Has the IQ of a gopher
And he flat out sucks at his job!

My eggs were undercooked
To which Chuck gave a mere "Sorry."
Then microwaved them into rubber
Rather than making my breakfast free

The last time he spilled the coffee
All over new my Gucci bag
And proceeded to insult me
When I called him a blubbering...

So next time I'm going to Denny's
TGI Fridays, Red Robin or Chile's
To that waste of flesh named Chuck
Go suck an egg, you hopeless git!

Truly never again yours,
Rachael

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