A Letter to the Phone Solicitor

Dear Annoying Solicitor,

I don't have the heart to be rude to you, even if I feel you are invading my privacy. I'm not going to yell at you or speak insults when you ignore me and continue your endless chatter either. But I certainly don't want even to pretend that I understand your mile-a-minute Chinese fluttering in my ear.

So while you holler "Wei, wei..." I'm going to respond with "Hello, hello...can you speak English?" really fast -- making your head spin, your blood pressure rise -- until YOU hang up (and, hopefully, resolve never to call this number again).

I know you're only doing your job, but this is my privacy you're treading on. If I want something, I'll go buy it myself. I don't want your spiel, so you needn't call me anymore.

Thanks for your understanding. ;)
Brently